the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
