Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
