part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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