this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
