it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
