Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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