I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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