i just had sex bonerless
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
