Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
