I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
