He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
