I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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