I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
