I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
