you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
