she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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