im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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