she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
