as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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