I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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