I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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