physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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