only if we run a train.
done.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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