I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
