i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
