I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
