He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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