I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
