So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
