That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
