im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
