Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize