she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
