You work out of a Hotel?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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