So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
