At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
