Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
