forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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