I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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