What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
