All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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