Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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