i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
