You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
