Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
