So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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