Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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