so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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