you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
