Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
