im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
